“I’m Not Just Playing”: A Kid’s Take on What Happens in Play Therapy

“You have started taking me to therapy. You said I get to play with a grown-up whose job it is to play with kids. I’m not totally sure what that means, but you seem a little nervous, so I thought I’d tell you what it’s like from my side of the door.” —Your kid (or any of the amazing kids I see in my Littleton, CO playroom)

Play therapy can feel mysterious, especially when your child can’t (or won’t) tell you what’s going on. Maybe you’re worried they won’t participate. Maybe you’re wondering what a playroom has to do with big emotions, tricky behaviors, or the “baffling” stuff that seems to happen out of nowhere.

This post is here to walk you through what really happens in play therapy, from the inside out. And yes, your child has something to say about it, too.

When You Say "Therapy," I Wonder If I'm in Trouble

“I hear you say ‘therapy,’ and I wonder if I did something wrong. But when I walk in, no one tells me I messed up. There’s no chart. No lecture. Just toys, art stuff, and a grown-up who doesn’t make me talk if I’m not ready.”

Play therapy isn’t about punishment or performance. It’s about creating a safe, structured space where your child can express what’s going on beneath the surface, often without needing to use words.

The playroom is designed to meet kids where they are, developmentally and emotionally. Toys aren’t just toys. They’re tools. Sand trays, games, figures, art materials, costumes, blocks, each one gives your child a way to process thoughts and feelings they may not yet know how to verbalize.

There’s no pressure to sit still, answer questions, or “get better” in a certain number of sessions. That’s the beauty of this work: it honors the pace and process of the child.

So What Actually Happens During a Session?

“Sometimes I build towers and knock them down over and over. Sometimes I whisper. Sometimes I roar like a dragon and throw things. My therapist doesn’t flinch. They just notice stuff, like how I breathe, or when I stop looking at them, or when I do the same thing three times in a row.”

While it may look like free play, your child is doing meaningful emotional work. As the therapist, I’m not just watching what they choose, I’m tracking how they move through it. The stories they tell. The roles they pick. The energy shifts in the room.

I'm also watching their nervous system for signs of activation: breath changes, posture shifts, speed, volume, body tension. These clues help me attune to what your child’s internal system is experiencing, even if they can’t explain it.

And I don’t try to fix it or make it go away. I stay with it. I name it in a gentle, kid-friendly way. I model what it looks like to stay grounded even when big feelings are in the room. That’s felt safety and co-regulation, the roots of how healing begins.

What If My Kid Doesn’t Participate?

“Sometimes I stack blocks and don’t say a word. Sometimes I say ‘I don’t care’ and act goofy. It’s not that I don’t want help. I just need time to feel safe.”

Therapy unfolds in phases. Some children dive right in. Others test the waters, or the therapist. Some need to circle the room for a while before they're ready to trust it.

There’s no “right” way to start. Just because your child doesn’t talk about feelings or open up right away doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. In fact, that slow build often reflects a healthy, developmentally appropriate pace. The relationship with the therapist is the therapy.

Will I See Any Changes at Home?

“I might not tell you what happened in the room, but I might stop yelling at my sister. Or I might sleep a little better. Or maybe I start asking you for help instead of melting down.”

Changes at home can be subtle, and that’s okay. Parents often notice quicker recovery after big feelings, a little more flexibility around transitions, or even a small moment of connection that used to feel impossible.

One parent told me, “I don’t feel like I’m guessing anymore. I actually understand what my child’s behavior is trying to tell me.” That kind of insight makes a big difference, because it helps you regulate your own nervous system (which makes it easier to offer co-regulation when needed).

How Long Until Something Shifts?

Every child is different, but most go through a few recognizable stages:

In the first few sessions, your child is figuring out if this space is safe. They might explore quietly or act out themes that help them test boundaries. As trust builds, their play becomes more symbolic. You may hear about repeating characters or see a little more openness at home. As integration happens, their play changes, often trying new outcomes or practicing more flexible roles. That’s when emotional (and behavioral) shifts often begin to show up in daily life.

And don’t worry, you’re not guessing. Your child will have weekly (or bi-weekly) play therapy sessions, and you will have regularly scheduled structured parent consultations (as often as weekly at the start of therapy) where I’ll share my framework for understanding/changing behaviors, what I’m seeing unfold in the playroom, and we’ll talk about how to support your child together.

You're in This Too (Even When You're Not in the Room)

“I know you're waiting just on the other side of the playroom. But you're still part of this. You show up. You ask questions. You care. That helps me feel safe even when I’m not sure how to say it.”

Play therapy supports the whole family. Your child leads the work in the room, but you’re not left out.

In our sessions together, we’ll explore your child’s progress, talk through parenting challenges, and build your own capacity to co-regulate during the hard moments. You’ll get resources, insight, and that gut-level sense that you’re not doing this alone.

Parents often tell me these conversations are a lifeline. And they’re not an “add-on” they’re a core part of the process.

Let’s Take the Next Step Together

If your child’s emotions feel too big or too shut down to handle alone, play therapy can help.

You don’t need a diagnosis or a crisis to begin. Just a sense that your child is struggling, and a desire for things to feel more connected, more peaceful, and more understood.

I offer play therapy, parent consultation and parent coaching for families in Littleton, Ken Caryl, Highlands Ranch, and the Southwest Metro Denver area. If you’re wondering whether this could help, I’d love to talk.

Click here to schedule a free 20-minute consultation
Visit the Play Therapy service page
Read the Parents’ Guide to Play Therapy in Denver

You’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

Meet Erin Bennetts, LCSW RPTS

I’m a Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor in Littleton, CO. I specialize in helping kids build emotional resilience through developmentally aligned, neuro-informed, relational therapy. I also support parents because healing happens in relationships, not just sessions.

And yes, I believe in glitter ponies, silly voices, and the kind of play that helps children feel seen for who they are.